IPA Headquarters - Recreation Annex

The recreation annex is a home away from home for the IPA's agents and officials. Though it's obviously of alien design, it has its share of creature comforts; the centerpiece is a large atrium, complete with a fountain and gardens of plants from across the multiverse. Lifts around the perimeter of the room lead off to other areas of the complex--there's an exercise room, a cafeteria, a small movie theater, and a number of other ameneties.

<Fac-IPA> Tifa Lockhart says, "I found Cloud."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "...Yeah? Where is he?"

<Fac-IPA> Tifa Lockhart says, "He's where he always is. I'm going to try to snap him out of it."

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki "Mm?" ... swallows his ramen.

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens sounds a little alarmed. "He's in Seventh Heaven? Marlene and Denzel, they aren't there, are they?"

<Fac-IPA> Tifa Lockhart says, "No. He's not there. Don't worry, Cid has them on he Sherra."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Oh. Well, that's good about the kids, but...where'd you mean?"

<Fac-IPA> Tifa Lockhart says, "I can't tell you. I need to try this first. If anyone shows up, he might panic."

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "Either way, where is this bar?"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "I don't think it's *panicking* you need to worry about, but...I understand what you mean."

<Fac-IPA> Red XIII rumbles. "If you should need any help... good luck, Tifa."

<Fac-IPA> Tifa Lockhart says, "Which one?"

<Fac-IPA> Tifa Lockhart says, "The Seventh Heaven is closed. Safe Haven has one of the part timers taking my shifts."

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki mumbles, "I must've missed something..." Then aloud, "Uh, yeah, just say the word if you need a hand!"

<Fac-IPA> Tifa Lockhart says, "Don't worry. I have a plan even if he draws his sword."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "You sound new! Yeah, something crazy happened recently."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Essentially...a few friends of ours went crazy thanks to this evil space alien kind of thing taking over their minds and bodies, so now we're trying to turn them back to normal."

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "Yeah, I just joined up the other day! Naruto Uzumaki. Nice to -- ..."

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "Yes, essentially."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Haha, I'm Venetia Martens. It's a bad time, but it's nice meeting you too!"

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "...Maria Tegawa."

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "Y-Yeah, sounds like it." He sounds a bit more serious than before, now. "If there's any way I can help, like I said, just say the word."

<Fac-IPA> Captain Agrias Oaks breathes out, over the shuffling of papers. "Then he has been found? That is good, at least. Do be careful. Ser Strife's skills with a blade are..." Shrug. Well, you know.

<Fac-IPA> Reno makes some shuffling sounds before getting on the radio. Sounds like he's in pain. Frantically, "What the hell is wrong with you people?! Get away from him!" ... Kind of staticy, too. Bad signal?

Excellen Browning has disconnected.

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "Oh hello Reno. Did you ever get your panties?"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Yeah. I mean, it's the short version, and it's not even mentioning the part where an avatar of the evil space alien thing wants to spread bits of her body through the Hub and take over the multiverse by taking over *everybody's* mind and body, which, by the way, you can read a report about on the board... so I'm sure we'll really need everybody's help! ...Hey, what's going on, Reno?"

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki audible "..."

<Fac-IPA> Perfected Engine of Harmony says, "Oh my."

<Fac-IPA> Nono quietly, "If we're afraid of getting hurt...what kind of friends are we? To save them from suffering like this...yes, a few broken bones is no price at all!"

<Fac-IPA> Simon Parker says, "..."

<Fac-IPA> Tifa Lockhart says, "Hey Red."

<Fac-IPA> Red XIII says, "Tifa?"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "It's really serious. --Yeah, exactly, Nono!"

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "Damn right, uh... whoever! You don't leave your comrades behind, no matter what!"

Earthworm Jim says, "Right, anyway"

<Fac-IPA> Captain Agrias Oaks, very quiet, "......um." Pause. More alarmed, "A-aye. ...space alien? Like the--the monsters that invaded the Hub?"

<Fac-IPA> Tifa Lockhart says, "Just in case, take care of Marlene and Denzel with Cid while I'm away."

<Fac-IPA> Red XIII says, "Of course."

<Fac-IPA> Tifa Lockhart desyncs.

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Not *exactly*, I don't think."

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa sighs. "I do so hate it when they get like that."

<Fac-IPA> Aya Kobayashi shudders. "More aliens..."

<Fac-IPA> Red XIII sighs. Very quietly, possibly to himself, "(Why did she have to appoint them to Cid?)"

<Fac-IPA> Reno says, "There's no time for panties now! Though no I never did get any, yo, so you can take that as a hint if you like! ... Anyway you gotta get away from Cloud, Lockhart! The guy nearly cut me in half, what do you think he'll do to you, yo?!"

<Fac-IPA> Captain Agrias Oaks says, "That's good, at least... but..."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Cid was the one who offered."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens, having sharp hearing!

<Fac-IPA> Nono not joking at all, "Maybe he will give her a hug! Or, maybe she will punch the evil out."

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "With her fists."

<Fac-IPA> Red XIII sighs. "I guess I'll head for the Shera." Even more quietly, "...I hope he isn't too drunk yet."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "And it's a little late for that, Reno. I think she already signed off."

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "She uses her fists, right?"

<Fac-IPA> Reno lets out a frustrated growl.

<Fac-IPA> Reno says, "Man whatever, yo, like I even care anyway!"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "If you didn't care, why'd you say anything to begin with?"

<Fac-IPA> Red XIII says, "If I'm needed, I guess you can reach me with my personal frequency." Which he gives; a smattering of numbers. "Otherwise, I think I might have my paws full. Heh, heh." And then desynchs.

<Fac-IPA> Nono's attempt at owning Reno is trumped by Venetia typing faster, and so she just goes "Yeah!"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens, before Red signs off, "Okay, thanks! Will do!" Then after, "Who was that guy now?"

<Fac-IPA> Reno says, "'Cause this ain't any of her business, this is a Shinra thing, yo!"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Oh, please."

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "If it's her friend, like hell it's not her business!"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Cloud and Tifa have been friends since they were kids, and you think it's none of her business?"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "This is why the only part of a woman you can get is her panties!"

<Fac-IPA> Reno says, "Says you!"

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "If by 'Shinra thing' you mean Shinra's fault, then yes, it is a Shinra thing."

<Fac-IPA> Reno makes another frustrated noise.

<Fac-IPA> Havelock Vetinari says, "Now, now."

<Fac-IPA> Havelock Vetinari says, "I'm sure we can disagree with each other politely."

<Fac-IPA> Havelock Vetinari says, "If I am wrong, of course, I will be very disappointed."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Mmm...yeah. In any case, there are some things you've just got to do for yourself. I think that's how it is for Tifa right now."

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "Hm."

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "Yeah!"

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "Yeah, I know how that is. Hope it goes well."

<Fac-IPA> Reno says, "What the hell ever, yo! He cut me, man, right here!"

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "Uhm...by the way, I have the Legion looking for all of them, including Jenova. So...if I find anything, I'll send word!"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Okay!"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Right where?"

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "Well then."

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "Should General Sephiroth ever decide to randomly show up in my apartment...then again, unlikely, because he's not aware of where that is...hm."

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "I can't ask you to leave things like this to me, that wouldn't be right, but...I'll help you however I can!"

<Fac-IPA> Reno pauses a minute and his voice goes all creepy-silky. "How about we go over to the hot springs and I show you, yo?"

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "I, Nono, specialize in blowing up monsters from space!"

Hmmmmmmmm. The Cafeteria. It is an odd place. Why, there are no nutrient vats! And...and...AND NO SAFETY WARNINGS! THOSE OVENS ARE QUITE HOT!

And there's sharp objects in those drawers! And no warning!

What the hell?!

And thus, the Cafeteria is subjected to the first impression of Perfected Engine of Harmony. The massive alchemical, hat set on his head at a comfortable angle (Just enough to let a bit of light glint off his soulgem) simply strides into the kitchens. He is...curious. And making a list of things that must be fixed....once he's done attempting to cook.

Of note, there is already a steaming crock pot full of delicious smelling meat loaf sitting on the counter. And the Alchemical has not yet truly begun to cook.

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "...Whoa, seriously? Cool!"

<Fac-IPA> Perfected Engine of Harmony says, "...Why does this food preparation zone not have safety warnings?!"

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "Yuh-huh!"

<Fac-IPA> Perfected Engine of Harmony says, "Those ovens are hot."

<Fac-IPA> Perfected Engine of Harmony says, "And there are sharp objects in those drawers!"

<Fac-IPA> Havelock Vetinari says, "Actually, the oven does have a safety label."

<Fac-IPA> Havelock Vetinari says, "It is helpfully placed on the inside of the door."

<Fac-IPA> Perfected Engine of Harmony says, "How odd."

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "See? Perfectly safe!"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Do you realize how creepy you sound, Reno?"

<Fac-IPA> Havelock Vetinari says, "We felt that the person most in need to be aware of the heat would be the one who could see the inside of the door."

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "That is a good point."

<Fac-IPA> Perfected Engine of Harmony says, "Hmmmmmm, I see."

<Fac-IPA> Havelock Vetinari says, "We take health labelling very seriously."

<Fac-IPA> Vita says, "What a pervert."

<Fac-IPA> Perfected Engine of Harmony says, "Well, I suppose I can see the logic. Ah well. I'll fix it. It is important, for the safety of all, that safety hazards be properly labeled."

<Fac-IPA> Havelock Vetinari says, "I'll have a label maker sent to you."

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "Geez, no kidding. He's worse than my teacher, and that's saying something."

<Fac-IPA> Perfected Engine of Harmony says, "No worries. I already have something better."

<Fac-IPA> Havelock Vetinari says, "In any case, we have done our best to label most dangers."

<Fac-IPA> Havelock Vetinari says, "I am very proud of our work in the cafeteria."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Haha. Your teacher must be pretty bad, Naruto!"

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "He is! The first time we met, he was peeking on the other side of the hot springs!"

Naruto Uzumaki has only just joined up with the IPA, so he needs to get out and about and meet people! He's already meeting a few people over the radio channel, but that's no substitute for in-person greetings. So the young man steps into the cafeteria (after some brief confusion over the building's layout). He's just finishing up a cup of instant ramen, which he dutifully tosses into the nearest garbage receptacle. A Hokage needs to respect the environment, after all!

Naruto seems a bit subdued as he enters; the radio conversation briefly hit a sore spot with him, and he's spent much of the walk thinking about his own friend who's fallen to the influence of evil forces. But he perks up when he sees someone else in the room, going over to look up... and up... and up at Perfected Engine. "W-Whoa..." Is this one of those "robots" he's heard about?

Simon Parker is just here for a cup of coffee. The first sign that something is horribly amiss is a label spraypainted on the coffee-maker: "CAUTION: CONTENTS ARE EXTREMELY HOT."

"What the hell," says Parker. "I come here for a break from the hospital food, and someone's gone and taken it upon themselves to cut down worker's comp costs." The demon takes a coffee cup from the rack, sets it under the spigot, and pours himself a delicious cup of caffeinated goodness. Behind him, the Tauren in the business suit shrugs noncommittally.

"It is good that they are concerned for their employees," says Bors Runetotem, from Animal Control.

"From a certain perspective," Simon says. He doctors up his coffee, and is about to take a seat when he hears noise in the kitchen... and then sees the enormous jade figure from the doorway. "Hold up a minute," he says. Cautiously, the demon makes his way over to Perfected Engine, giving the Alchemical a little wave. "Hello. You're that guy from Auto-whatsit, right?"

The Alchemical turns, blinking a few times, and then looks down at Naruto and Simon. A small tool of some sort, held in a hand, retracts back into his wrist. What was he doing with it?

...Apparently, applying a series of glyphs or some such to a door. And then writing 'Caution: Door May Swing At Odd Times' underneath it.

Trying to understand Autochthonian psychology is...different. But it would explain the neatly painted glyphs and messages warning of 'Hot Crushed Liquid-And-Nutrient-Beverage', 'Hot Cooking Surface', 'Floor May Be Wet', and 'Warning: Do Not Enter Oven'. He's only been in here for a few moments, after all.

"Greetings. I am the Perfected Engine of Harmony, Jade Alchemical of Gulak, one of the Eight Nations of Autochthonian. It is a pleasure to make your aquaintance. Would you care for something to eat? I have only begun to prepare sustenance, but it is ready to eat when you are."

A finger points at the Soylens Norvegicus. It has a sign on it saying 'Warning: Very Nutritious and Delicious.'

When Simon walks in with Bors, Naruto stares up at the Tauren for a moment too. He is faced with a dilemma. He doesn't want to be rude to these new people he's meeting and ask weird questions -- but they're so cool-looking! Still, he holds back for the moment. "Hi!" he says, after hearing Perfected Engine's greeting (and absorbing approximately one-tenth of it). "Nice to meet you too! I'm Naruto Uzumaki, ninja on loan from the Hidden Leaf Village!" At the offer of food, the perking-up is complete. "Ooh, that sounds great! Thanks! It sure smells good..."

He takes a brief glance at the labels around, eyes finally landing on the floor. "... But it's not wet." I don't think Naruto quite gets it.

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald sounding kind of muzzled, "Did someone catch the name of that building?"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Hey, Shane! You're awake! And you don't sound *too* out of it!"

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "That's... a good thing. I think."

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "Shane..."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "huh?"

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "..I'm glad you're okay."

<Fac-IPA> Simon Parker says, "Oh, Fitzgerald."

<Fac-IPA> Nia says, "Oh, Mr. Fitzgerald."

<Fac-IPA> Simon Parker says, "They have coffee in the cafeteria, if you want any."

<Fac-IPA> Nia says, "You're awake!"

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind says, "Eh, something wrong with him bein' awake?"

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "I.. could use some I think. Ow. it hurts to move."

<Fac-IPA> Nia says, "Of course not!"

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind says, "...Shane, are you okay?! What happened?"

<Fac-IPA> Simon Parker says, "I'll pick some up for you, then."

<Fac-IPA> Simon Parker pauses. "You want some... 'Soylens Norwegicus'?

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "No, him being awake is great! He's one of the guys who got beat up by Sephiroth and the others the other day... Maria said so."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "I... lost track after me head the 26th floor."

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind stops. "...You what?!"

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind says, "Shane, we should... uh, talk when you're feeling better."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "Yeah. That'd be good. Thanks fer worryin' Miss Tegawa."

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "You...don't need to thank me."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "Don't ah... don't engage Cloud, Sephiroth or Zack. At least not alone. They hit hard."

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind says, "...Tifa's gone."

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind says, "She went after Cloud... dammit!"

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "Ah, that -- Those're the people who...?"

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "... ..."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "She said she had a plan. --Yeah. Those're our friends."

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "Gotcha."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald groans, "Crap. Someone's gotta stop her. They don't know right from wrong."

Runetotem busies himself with the process of getting dinner. This involves a lot of hmm-ing at warnings.

Simon Parker nods, having absorbed more of it than Naruto. "Oh, I was just going to come down here to get a cup of coffee," he says, gesturing with the beverage. "I didn't know there were still kitchen staff around--usually it's just... well, the automated ones."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Cid, d'you know where that might be?"

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind says, "If I knew, I'd be sitting on her!"

<Fac-IPA> Reno hesitantly adds, "I told you guys I was right, yo!"

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "Yeh okay Mr. Reno?"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "You sound so scared, Reno. Are you okay?"

<Fac-IPA> Reno says, "Oh man Fitz, I totally got a wicked sweet scar."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "Ah.. how's Lt. Colonel Rufus?"

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind says, "Tifa... dammit, it's so stupid! She thinks she can snap him out of it!"

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "Hah hah! Yeh'll have ta show me at some point Mr. Reno!"

<Fac-IPA> Reno says, "I ain't heard nothin' about nobody, they've got me locked up in my room, yo. Stop callin' me mister!"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Maybe he can show you in the hot springs? o/`"

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "..."

The Alchemical nods somberly.

"Indeed...but it might become wet. And if people were unprepared for such an eventuality, then they might become injured when they slipped. It is quite irresponsible that more governments do not make sure to put such signs out on their walkways in their cities, with this odd 'weather'. I mean, how is one supposed to know that the streets are wet when they rain otherwise?! What if they became ice instead? If you didn't have a warning sign...chaos."

Of an odd note, the automated kitchen help are...giving Perfected Engine a bit of a wide berth. Respectfully. And also preparing something for him. It appears that some sort of RECIPE was given to them...and they are PREPARING IT to his SPECIFICATIONS! MWAHAHHAHAHA!

"I see. That would explain it. It is fine. They are quite skilled enough to prepare the dishes I was planning to my specifications. It will simply take some time. Please, try some of the heated water-and-nutrient mixture. It isn't quite like what we have back home, but I improvised."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Oh, he made that offer to me, Shane, so I figure it might be open to you too. <3"

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki snickering can be heard in the background.

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "Ah... heh... maybe when I'm better?"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "I'm sure you two will have a wonderful time together."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald clears throat, "Right. Anyway. Any word about the Lt. Colonel? Sorta last track o' him. No one died right?"

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "He's still in the hospital."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Anyway, Cid... It *is* dangerous, but it *is* still something Tifa needs to do for herself. If she's that determined, there's not a lot we can do."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald mutters, "She's just gonna get herself killed."

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind says, "...I know. That's why... I agreed to take the kids."

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "H-Hey, you can't just go thinking like that!"

<Fac-IPA> Reno says, "I told 'em that, Fitz, but everyone just ganged up on me. Kinda like the time I tried to stop Sephiroth when he was going all crazy and everyone was like 'aww Reno give him a break man he's just tryin' to help', you remember that time, FITZ?"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Maybe. But Cloud's known Tifa a lot longer than he or Zack have known you, Shane."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "That might be worth more than you think."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "Fer her sake and Cloud's, I hope yer right Venetia."

(Here Naruto gets distracted and stops listening for a bit.)

"People learn," says a voice from one of the tables in the cafeteria. Ashen Mist decided a cup of coffee was a good idea as well today, and has been quietly watching as the Alchemical put up his various signs. "They're taught as they grow up, 'When it rains things get wet'." Sssssip.

The Outcaste regards the Alchemical with some degree of curiousity. So this is one of the Locusts of the South, huh? Except not a Locust, because they've apparently got their own factions and this one doesn't believe in feeding off of everything... or does he? You can never be too suspicious with interlopers in Creation.

"But... wouldn't it be easier to just look at it and see?" Naruto's still having trouble with this one. Ashen Mist puts in his two cents, and Naruto nods. "Yeah, exactly! Even I picked that up quick enough."

Oh, well. "Anyway, thanks again for the offer! Let's see..." The orange-clad ninja spins around toward the table, looking that Soylens Norvegicus over. Well, it's food, that's good enough for him! Plate and fork are promptly acquired.

Simon hears the voice from the table behind him, and blinks at the newcomer to the conversation. "Yeah, if not through that, then through accident. Like if a little kid touches a hot stove burner by accident, and properly internalizes the lesson so it doesn't happen again. It's a little thing called 'common sense'. Do people not have it, in Autochthonia?"

There's a smug little smirk on Simon's face, but it quickly fades as he regards the gray-haired man again--and then, Naruto. "I don't believe we've met," he says. "Call me Simon Parker. What do they call you two?"

The Alchemical turns a deadpan look on Simon as he gets snarky.

"Yes. We have the common sense to ensure hazards are labeled. You are unlikely to survive to learn from the experience if, for instance, you get caught in a lightning arc and then become exposed to enough electricty to vaporize your blood while it is still in your veins. Or caught in a set of gears large enough to grind a city block to paste. Or fall off of a cliff on the edge of one of the Maker's continent-organs because you failed to note the warning of a steep cliff. Or to be blown into a recycling vat and watch your skin melt off. Frankly, the fact that you seem to think that a proper warning isn't needed is maliciously irresponsible. Hmmph."

The Alchemical shakes his head, frowning severely at the human, and calmly dishes up Soylens Norvegicus to Naruto. And then, hey, Outcaste speaks up!

...Interesting! Perfected Engine simply glances at him for the moment. And then shrugs.

"And why the hell are the streets so messy? Don't they have a group similar to the Harvesters ensuring that debris is properly recycled into a usable format? It's so inefficent. Bah."

"Ashen Mist," the Outcaste says to Simon with a pleasant smile and a little wave of his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Parker." He pauses a moment, a thoughtful look on his face. "Or would that be Simon? I'm sorry, it's a little awkward, which of those is your given name and which is your surname?"

The Perfected Engine's response causes Mist's brow to raise in surprise. "Your people need to be told to stay away from obvious hazards?" It's an honest surprise, not snark like Simon was giving. "I'd give a steep cliff a wide berth even without a sign telling me to. So would almost everyone I know." As to the issues with littering, Mist simply shrugs. People are messy, what more can he say?

<Fac-IPA> Fate Harlaown's radio synchs in. "Fate checking in. Good evening, everyone."

<Fac-IPA> Leon Freier says, "Oh, heya. Anyhoo, sorry for interruptin', Miss Aerith. You were sayin'?"

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "Hey there."

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "Ah, hello!"

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "Hi Miss Fate!"

<Fac-IPA> Aerith Gainsborough says, "It's nothing..."

<Fac-IPA> Leon Freier says, "You sure?"

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind says, "Aerith..."

<Fac-IPA> Cid Highwind clears his throat. "It'll be okay!"

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "evenin' Miss Fate."

<Fac-IPA> Aerith Gainsborough says, "Yeah... we'll just hit them, and it'll get better."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "Ah. About the hittin'. We should probably take then on separately but at the sae time."

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "Why at the same time...?"

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "I think they ahve some mental connect. When I was beatin' up on Cloud, suddenly General Sephiroth and Zack turned off Miss Tegawa and Reno ta come and triple team me."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "if we can keep all three occupied at the same time, they won't be able ta back each other up."

<Fac-IPA> Venetia Martens says, "...A mental connect, huh...?"

<Fac-IPA> Fate Harlaown says, "Oh, are you planning a simultaneous attack?"

<Fac-IPA> Aerith Gainsborough says, "Yeah... it's possible."

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "Somethin' like that."

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa says, "A hivemind through JENOVA cells, perhaps."

<Fac-IPA> Fate Harlaown says, "I would like to help if I'm able."

<Fac-IPA> Fate Harlaown may or may not have a sudden eyeglint. +_+

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "I can help, too. The Legion is good at things like that!"

<Fac-IPA> Maria Tegawa sigh. "And I do so hate it when my opponent runs off to try to kill someone else."

<Fac-IPA> Leon Freier says, "I know! It's so rude!"

<Fac-IPA> Nono says, "Ah, but, you might want to make sure they aren't in some place you like before calling for help, aheh..."

<Fac-IPA> Naruto Uzumaki says, "I'll help out too! They sound pretty tough, but my Shadow Clones can at least make a good distraction!"

<Fac-IPA> Shane Fitzgerald says, "heh. We'll need a bit o' help. Oof. Once I get out a here."

"Nice to meet you, Simon!" Naruto says cheerily, just picking one of the names and going with it. "And you too, Ashen! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Just Naruto or whatever's fine." He ponders Engine's words for a moment. "Hmmmm. Well, I guess that makes sense, but I still think a lot of that stuff you can tell without having to be told about it." But the Soylens has been served, so it's time to set aside distractions for eating! With no regard for his personal safety, Naruto takes a bite...

"The given name goes first, and the surname comes second. You can call me by either, I don't really mind. It's good to meet both of you." The snarkiness seems to be gone entirely, even as Engine gives him that Look, and explains the horrible industrial hazards back home. "That... does sound like a pretty brutal place to live," Simon says. "Like living in an industrial wasteland."

The Alchemical blinks. "Wasteland? Hardly. The Great Maker's body is quite dangerous, but also provides all we need to survive. It is just that one must realize that there are things that outweigh the considerations of a few humans inside. For instance, those lightning arcs are needed to power certain subsystems, the movement of the gears powers a great deal of industry, and the recycling vats allow us to reduce worthless junk into a usable form with very little, if any, lost in the conversion. It is just that they are dangerous if you are not careful. Also, there are a number of hazards that aren't always visible. For instance, the cliffs are rarely lit, and that makes it quite possible to step off of one if one has lost their lighting advantages."

The Alchemical seems perfectly at ease talking about his HORRID WASTELAND OF A HOME.

"Ah, excellent. Here, try this. I believe you will find it delicious!"

...And that is when a block of...ummmm...something is slid onto a tray and handed to Simon. It is covered in a sauce.

The sauce is green.

It is also glowing slightly.

Come to think it, so is the 'meat'. Is that meat? It's hard to tell. But it is definitely probably not inorganic! The Alchemical, however, is smiling.

"Do you want anything to eat, Ashen Mist? Speaking of which, interesting name...it seems similar to some of the others I have heard since leaving Autochthonia. Does that mean you are a native of Creation? Or is it simply a world with a similar naming context?"

"Simon, then," Mist says cheerfully. "And Naruto. It's good to meet the both of you." With a smile towards the Perfected Engine, the Outcaste continues, "You're a sharp one. I'm from a small village in the South, so small it didn't even have a name. We simply called it the village."

Ashen Mist's gaze follows the tray as it moves to Simon, a slight repulsion towards the contents pretty clear on his face. He declines actually asking about whether it's safe to eat glowing green blocks, though, that would be rude.

Mysteriously, Naruto's plate is already clean. So did he really like it or really hate it...? The ninja listens with interest to Perfected Engine's description of his home. "Wow, sounds almost like you live in a giant machine or something. Bet it's a cool place to visit, though!"

And Naruto, unlike Ashen Mist, is still a little fuzzy on when things are and aren't appropriate to say. So: "Whoa! Are you sure that stuff's safe? Doesn't look like any food I ever had..."

Simon simply shakes his head, and lets the subject drop. He knows he wouldn't want to live in a place that sounds like Tartarus on steroids, but to each his own. Let the Autochthonians have their industrial hellhole.

And then a tiny piece of this hellhole, in the form of local cuisine, is thrust into his face. Parker takes the glowing green block and eyes it for a moment. "...Food, I take it?" That he needs to ask is disturbing in and of itself. He smells it, and finds that it's lime-scented. Or maybe lemon-scented. Or maybe pinesol-scented. Experimentally, Parker picks up a tiny bit of the sauce on one of the tines of the fork, and... eats it.

Immediately, his throat siezes up as the revolting taste overwhelms him. Simon at least has the grace to swallow, and to keep from looking too revolted as he sets the plate down. "I'm not really hungry," he says.

The Alchemical is completely oblivious to the PERIL That Parker finds himself in. He simply nods slightly.

"Well, that is a pity! And it's not quite the right recipe, I was missing a few of the nutrient slurries normally used in its preparation, but...."

The Alchemical calmly takes the tray, easily eating the block with every sign of delight.

"Try the Soylens Norvegicus! I at least got that recipe to come out properly!"

The Alchemical calmly dishes more Norvegicus out to Naruto, blinking.

"Well, yes, that is the form the Great Maker chose for his exile outside of Creation. After all, after he chose to leave, he confined his infinite form into a finite form, and the realm of Brass and Shadows came to be. The Autochthonians are the descendants of the humans who journeyed into exile with the Great Maker."

"Fascinating. I must admit, I have never seen a social group on a small scale, other than the scavengers who live in the tunnels of the Far Reaches outside our cities. It sounds interesting. How does your village sustain itself? Trade? Warfare? Harvesting odd materials?"

Perfected Engine seems quite interested!

There's a slight but measurable pause as Perfected Engine inquires about the nature of Ashen Mist's village, which one could easily ascribe to needing a moment to realize the question was actually being directed towards him. "Oh, uh," he begins, slightly confused about suddenly being the topic of conversation. "Well, there's a little bit of trade whenever a merchant caravan comes by, but it's mostly subsistance farming." He waves a hand. "I know what you're thinking, it's almost impossible to farm in the south, but our ancestors found an ancient well that's still in working condition-- well, mostly working condition, it's leaking enough to have made a small oasis. If not for that, they'd probably still be nomads."

Simon's foul expressions when he sticks the glowing green... stuff... into his mouth does not escape Mist's eyes, and his own expression drops a little in pity. "Speaking of, I think I'm going to go get some water," he says quickly, standing up to go get a cup for himself and the poor demon.

That makes Naruto's mind up for him; any recipe that's supposed to have "nutrient slurries" (whatever they are) in it is a recipe he doesn't mind missing out on. So he just listens to Perfected Engine's description of his home. And... He doesn't understand a word of it. "Oh! That's... nice!" he says cheerfully, eyes wandering around the room.

And onto a clock (labeled "WARNING: This clock may not be 100% accurate with respect to official IPA time"), where they widen with shock. "Oh, shoot! Granny Tsunade wanted me to report back half an hour ago!" Naruto jumps, patting his pockets in a rush to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything. "Darn it, darn it... Uh, sorry to run! It was real nice meeting you guys! Bye!" And with that, he speeds out the door.

... But he returns long enough to grab that second serving of the Norvegicus.